The Why’s Have It!

Mom-to-be Katie Holmes is reportedly gearing up for the silent birth of her first child after Scientologists were spotted carrying signs into her home, reminding her to keep quiet during labor. She is awaiting the arrival of her baby with fiance Tom Cruise. Late Scientology creator L. Ron Hubbard urged mothers to keep as quiet as possible during labor so they do not traumatize the child. On Monday, huge placards saying, “Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable,” were carried into the couple’s home, to be displayed around the house to remind Holmes to deal with the extreme pain of childbirth quietly. Last year, Cruise attempted to appease outraged critics of the bizarre birthing method, insisting Holmes can make a little noise. He said, “There have been misinterpretations that the woman can’t make any noise, and that’s just not true. It’s nutty. No, but just calm and quiet. I want Katie to be as comfortable as possible.”

What a crock of shit! If he wanted her to be “as comfortable as possible” then he shouldn’t of gotten her pregnant. Childbirth is not claim and quiet, jackass! I would like to see Mr. Crazy Tom Cruise push a large grapefruit out of his pee hole without making much noise. And why the hell is Katie letting him tell her how to birth this damn demon seed of a child?! Why hasn’t her parents kidnapped her and have her deprogrammed?