The past five to six months have been extremely difficult for me. I am not going to go into detail because it is a personal/family matter and I want to keep it that way. However I am trying to move past it, to forgive and forget. But it is damn near impossible to get past it when certain people insist on bringing it up. It is not something that I want to rehash over and over again everytime I talk to these people (names are being with held to protect the extremely insensitive numb-nuts).
Throughout this whole ordeal I have some how managed to keep my sanity. Though it is only hanging on by a very thin string and let me tell you that this string is worn out and frayed and with one mediocre pull the string will break and what little sanity I have left will be gone, possibly forever.
Now I donâ€™t know what will happen if and when my sanity disappears. I donâ€™t know if I will be the type of lunatic who hurts people or the type who sits in the corner, drooling, trying to kill imaginary bugs. But I am not looking forward to either one, though there are some people that I would like to seriously injure. Actually, I would take great pleasure in harming these people.
Anywho, the point of this post is in hopes that said insensitive numb-nuts will read this and, God willing, will finally get some common sense. I do not want to talk about what has been happening the past 6 months and if for whatever reason I do want to talk about it with you then I will bring it up since technically it has not a damn thing to do with you and is really none of your business.
If you do bring it up (in either question form or a snide remark) and I decided to steer the conversation in another direction that is my polite way of letting you know to â€œShut your fucking mouth before I strangle you with my shoe laces!â€ Also, saying a comment on said subject in a jokingly manner is not acceptable either. If you do have a death wish and insist on making remarks you had better hope and pray that there are no sharp objects in my reach.
Even if after my repeated warning you still insist on opening this very painful wound of mine then I will have no choice but to chew your insensitive ass out and cut off all contact with you, including the contact you may have with my daughter, and you will no longer be welcome in my home until you can learn that this subject is not one to bring up.
If all this seems a bit harsh well then you can kiss my fat ass. I have dealt with enough shit for the past six months and I am now doing everything in my power to make sure I donâ€™t have to deal with anymore, to make sure I do not get put through anymore pain because of said subject.
KristopherMay 23, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Ack! I’m so sorry that so much shit is happening to you =x I sympathize but in a different matter, it’s medical problems causing my family grief…in any case, I hope things smooth over for you.
Hope is a star,
AjaMay 23, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I hope things get better for you as time goes on.
NadineMay 25, 2007 at 2:06 am
I think I can roughly understand what you’re
feeling because I, too, experience an ordeal
that is still in the process of being forgotten
and all that.
all the best in moving on (:
KatMay 25, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Hey Amanda, I just want you to know that I am praying for you! I can’t say that I know what you’re having to deal with because I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. So yeah…all I can really say is that you’re in my thoughts and prayers girl! I know you are strong enough to pull through without going crazy!
JeanMay 26, 2007 at 12:43 am
Hey, I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time but I do hope that everything will be better for you soo 😉
LeeshaMay 26, 2007 at 4:55 pm
*hugs* I really hope that things get better for you. It really sucks that you have to go through this, but God willing you’ll come through it with your sanity completely intact..
I’ll keep you in my prayers.
PattyMay 28, 2007 at 4:00 am
GO for it, you tell them! If I knew someone and this is how they would threaten me then it worked and I will make sure never to talk about the subject again, seriously. To who ever this message is for…. I hope that person reads what you keep turning from and gets the point. I also hope that things go will with you in the future.