Category Archives: Uncategorized

Since my last blog post, I have been fighting a cold/sickness in some form or another. From a sinus infection, to a sore throat, back to sinus problems and vomiting it has taken all my power to just drag myself out of bed and do my work online and off. So I am just going to post a quick update.

I am starting a vegetable garden. On one of the rare days these past few weeks that I actually felt good and not sick I begin digging the garden bed. I have grown many flowers and plants in the past but never grown a vegetable garden on my own with no help from anyone. I am doing it all organic and even started the seeds indoors. I am following the Farmer’s Almanac and am shooting for the recommended date of April 5 or 6 to transplant the vegetables outside in the bed.

I have become addicted to Jersey Shore. Yes, it’s mind numbing but so interesting to watch.

The revamping of my photography business is going well. I have the new name picked out and have even lined up some photo shoots with models when the weather warms up. I am still keeping things tight lipped because I do not want to jinx it.

Not much has been happening in my neck of the woods this past week. I have been dealing with what I think is a sinus infection so I really haven’t felt like exercising much and it takes all my will power to drag myself out of bed. I am hoping the cold/infection/whatever the hell it is hurries up and leaves.

Yesterday was my husband’s 32^nd birthday. I cannot believe he is 32 (and I will be 31 next month). I guess I still think of him as that 16 year old boy who I fell in love with. We celebrated his birthday last weekend by going out for dinner both Saturday (Buffalo Wild Wings) and Sunday (Applebee’s) night. Then on Tuesday, I took him out for breakfast, gave him his present (a money clip he has been wanting) and Double Doozie Sugar Cookie cake from The Great American Cookie Company.

Over the past 15 years, Mike and I have been through a lot. Both good and bad. We have grown and changed in many ways. Happy Birthday, Mike! I want to grow old and disgusting with you!

I saw Dez’s post about her goals and figured I could use some goals in my life. So here they are:

• Lose 10 pounds. My overall goal is to lose 30 pounds (go from 168 to 138) but I am starting with some small goals. I went from 220 to 153 and then in the year 2010, I slowly crept up to 168 and have been stuck at this weight since the beginning of this year. It seems like no matter what I do (limit calories and exercise more) I am stuck at this weight. Ugh.

• Save more money. This no-brainer is so freaking hard sometimes.

• Keep positive things/people in my life and get rid of the negative things/people. I have cut off ties with some of the negative people (avoiding them, removing them from facebook) and so far so good. However, it looks like the biggest negative/stress-causing person is going to be in my life for good. Ugh. I will just have to ignore her as best as I can. Repeat after me “I am a duck. The dirty droplets of water roll off my shiny feathers and fall back into the dirty pond. I am still beautiful.”

• Rethink my photography business. I have gotten nowhere with it lately. So many people are photographers and breaking into the business is damn near impossible in my area. However, I do have a niche that no one else in my area does that I might be able to use. I just need to purchase some items and remarket myself.

I am still chugging through this crappy experience that is called my life. I let too many people bring me down and it needs to stop, TODAY! I decided that I am going to get my life back on track. I am going to be happy. We only get one life and it should not be filled with hatred and sadness. This depression is kicking my ass and there are certain people in my life that do nothing but bring me stress and headaches. I need to remove them from my life as soon as possible. Unfortunately, if I want to get rid of the main stress-causing person in my life it means I will have to let go of someone whom I love. Unless I can figure out a way to work around getting rid of the stress-inducer and keep the important person, I am going to have to decide if keeping that person is worth dealing with the bitch. Somedays, he is important enough for me to deal with her shit. But lately, I cannot deal with it. She just keeps pushing and pushing and I honestly just want to leave. Run away to never be heard from again. I guess I have a hell of a lot of thinking to do.

I can honestly say I had a great Valentine’s Day!
I woke Mike up at 8am so we could out to eat at Shoney’s for breakfast. They have a pretty good breakfast buffet loaded with cinnamon and sugar French toast sticks, muffins, bacon, pancakes, eggs, shredded hash browns, fruit and the like. It was defiantly worth the $4.99 per person. After we were done eating breakfast we headed over to walmart (where I bought Raven a box of chocolate and Mike bought her 3 red roses) and then went home. We had decided to go to the movies to see Sanctum 3D. However, since the first showing was not until 12:25 we still had some time to kill. After we arrived home, Mike said he had to go get something (he had to pick up the flowers he ordered from the local florist) and he would be back in a few minutes. After he got home, he presented me with a dozen beautiful red roses, a box of chocolates and kitty cat valentine card with temporary kitty cat tattoos. Around 11: 50, we headed out to the theater, got our tickets and popcorn and enjoyed the movie. Afterward we headed back home and watched TV until Raven got home from school at which time the 3 of us proceeded to watch more TV and just goof off until we got hungry. Raven did not want to go out to eat and instead wanted to stay home by herself because (in her words) she has too much stuff to do. So, I called Texas Roadhouse’s call heading seating and reserved a table for 2. Of course, when we arrived there even with the call head seating we still had to wait about 30 minutes. But that was a hell of a lot better then having to wait an hour and half like the people who were coming in after us had to. When we got home, Raven informed us that we were not gone long enough. We spent the rest of the night in bed watching various TV programs. It was an absolutely wonderful Valentine’s Day. The best one I have ever had!

My gifts from Mike.

I use to hate Valentine’s Day. And not just when I was single. For the longest time after dating my husband (and after getting married), I continued to hate Valentine’s Day. I truly do not know the reason why I hated it so much but I did. When my husband and I were going through our extremely rough patch, I began to change in many ways and I credit those changes with why my feelings of Valentine’s Day transitioned into what they are now a days. I began to become indifferent to this holiday. I use to loathe it but now I don’t mind it one way or another. I know many people hate this day, as I once did. However, for those girls out there who don’t have a husband or boyfriend who is romantic every other day or buys them gifts just for the hell of it, Valentine’s Day lets us experience a little taste of what other girls get on a near daily basis. Yeah, it may suck that our husbands have to be told by a holiday to do something extra special for us. However, It’s not that they don’t love us. It’s just not in their nature. Some guys are romantic on their own while others are not. And I have learned to deal with it and be happy no matter what. So, here’s to my husband whom I have been with for 15 years of my life, he is not the most romantic guy in the world but means well all the same! Happy Valentine’s Day Mike! I love you!

Please, do not pay any attention to the mess behind me. We are moving things around in the bedroom and I stopped to take a break to do the meme. Also, I am sometimes overly animated when I talk. Yeah. I’m a big dork.

Words said:
Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

Questions answered:
* What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
* What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
* What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
* What do you call gym shoes?
* What do you say to address a group of people?
* What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
* What do you call your grandparents?
* What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
* What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
* What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

That is a question I have asked myself way too many times. I truly do not believe I am happy. Yes, I do have happy experiences throughout the day and I do laugh. However, when it is all said and done with, I still feel depressed and unhappy. I hate the living situation I am in at the moment and no matter how hard I try, I am more or less stuck here. The thought of me being stuck here fills me with sorrow. I am almost 31 years old, married with an almost 14-year-old daughter. I should not be feeling this way. At the age of 30, my life should be headed down the right path. Not stalled on the tracks with a train fast approaching! Things have not been good since October 2006. However, in the summer of 2010 things actually looked like they started to improve. Now I think it was all smoke and mirrors and only looked like improvement because I wanted it so bad.

Sorry about the depressing post. I just had to get that off my chest.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I have been trying to figure out what to get my husband. He is extremely difficult to buy for. Besides WoW, there really is nothing that he has been majorly into for the past few years. He has WoW shirts, hats and things of that nature so he really does not need any more clothing. I would not even begin to pick out a gaming mouse or keyboard for him because he is very particular when it comes to that type of stuff and it would just be safer for me to avoid those items. However, I did find this cool Alliance ring that I ordered for him on ebay. His wedding ring is getting too tight for his finger and I thought the Alliance ring might be a cool and unique alternative that he would enjoy. I know it’s corny and geeky but I guess that is how we are. I just hope it gets here before Valentine’s Day.

It has been almost 3 weeks since Nan has passed. It is funny, but after the initial few days, I do not feel sad anymore … that is unless I truly think about the moment she passed. It is odd, because I thought I would be crying for weeks but it does not feel like she is really gone. When I go down to my Mom’s house (mom lives with Nan) it still feels like Nan is there. I know her body is not physically there but her spirit still seems to fill the house. I am glad that I can still feel her with me and I hope I never lose that feeling.

There is a lot to write about and none of it is good news.

My Nan (my Mom’s mother) passed away in the early morning hours on Monday January 17^th. Raven and I are extremely close to Nan. After my mom and dad divorced when I was 15 years old, my Mom and I moved in with my Nan and there I lived until I was 20 years old. She was extremely supportive of me when she found out I was pregnant at the young age of 16 and never once shamed me or try to kick me out of her home. Raven has spent just about every Saturday night with Mom and Nan since she was in elementary school. She called Raven her angel and Raven adores Nan. She is the best grandmother ever, a remarkable women and I miss her terribly. I am thankful that she went peacefully with family members (my husband and myself included) by her side. The viewing and funeral where held last Wednesday and Thursday. She had so many visitors and a ton of flowers. Everyone that knew her loved her. She truly is a great woman who raised four children by herself. I love her and will always miss her. Moreover, she left me with a lifetime full of wisdom and wonderful memories that I will always cherish.

Me and Nan

My Dad (who lives in Ohio with my Stepmom) called me Saturday night to inform me that my Grandpa (his Dad) passed away. Unfortunately, I was not that close to him because of the distance but he is an admirable man and a wonderful grandfather. He will be missed by many including myself. I am glad me, Mike and Raven where able to attend the funeral. We left Monday after Raven got home from school, stayed the night with my Dad and Stepmom, went to the funeral Tuesday morning and then drove the three hours back home late Tuesday afternoon.

Needless to say, I am emotionally and physically drained.