2022 was an odd year for me. It was both one of the best years and one of the worsts. Our business expanded and we have seen growth like no other year. It is also the year that we had to say goodbye to our sweet boy Nefarian less than 2 weeks after he was diagnosed with a tumor on the base of his heart. It was also the year that my mom passed away unexpectedly.
It is difficult to explain how my mom’s sudden death has effected me. For 42 years, she was a constant presence in my life. We didn’t always see each other regularly (even though we only lived about 15 minutes away from one another), but we had some contact at least once a week, and I would send her silly Tiktoks through Facebook messenger several times a week, sometimes multiple a day. I will never be able to do that again. I won’t be able to call her up to bitch about whatever is irking me at the moment, or tell her the latest antics that Fern, Ash, and Widget are up to.
She was a pain in the ass at times, but she was supposed to continue to be a pain in my ass for many more years to come. She wasn’t supposed to die suddenly at the age of 64.
Months before Nefarian got sick, before we knew anything was wrong, I had told Mike that we should adopted a female black kitten and name her Fern. I said it a few times, just to put it out there if we ever decided to add another cat to our family.
Two months after Nefarian passed away, Mike showed me a photo of a black kitten available for adoption at our local Humane Society, and they had named her Fern. It felt like fate, but it had only been two months since we lost our sweet Nefarian. I wasn’t ready. I knew adopting a cat wouldn’t be a replacement for Nefarian, but it was hard to not feel guilty at the thought of even adopting another cat so soon after Nefarian passed away. Especially when all I wanted was to have Nefarian back. I mulled it over for several days and was leaning towards not adopting her, but Mike talked me into it.
On June 20, 2022, we went to the Humane Society for a meet and greet with Fern. On the ride there, I broke down crying, which made Mike think I didn’t want to adopt Fern, which was the furthest thing from the truth. I was just a bit emotional and missing Nefarian like crazy.
We got to the Humane Society, and they showed us to the kitten room. They introduced us to Fern, who was a teeny tiny baby, and we instantly fell in love. We brought her home that day, and it took about 10 seconds after we opened the carrier for her to make the house her home. She has settled into our home nicely, and is both oh so sweet and oh so crazy. She is a house panther, my magical kitty. Widget doesn’t mind her, though she does try to attack him (in a playful way), which he doesn’t like. He does, however, love when she lays beside him so he can clean her.
I don’t know how he did it, but I believe that Nefarian sent us Fern to help heal our hearts after his passing.
This isn’t the type of post I wanted to make, far from it. Our sweet Nefarian was diagnosed with a tumor at the base of his heart on April 5th 2022. Needless to say I was shocked, devastated, heartbroken, when the vet told me that the x-ray showed the tumor. There wasn’t much more they could tell me, since they couldn’t determine what type of tumor it was or how long he had without a biopsy. Our vet said that, at the time, since he was doing well (still eating and drinking, not acting sick, and not losing weight) she didn’t really think a biopsy was a good idea since that could set things off. She did, however, say that the tumor was significant in size, but that she couldn’t give us a timeframe on how long he had. It could be a few weeks, a few months, or even a year.
I brought Nefarian home, crying the entire way, and then spent most of that day switching back and forth from holding Nefarian and crying, to Google searching heart based tumors in cats to learn as much about it as possible and how to increase their life expectancy.
The morning of April 21st 2022, Nefarian had labored breathing so we rushed him to the vet. It wasn’t news we wanted to hear. His lungs where filled with fluid. The vet said he had only a few hours to a day at most and that we needed to start thinking about letting him go. We made the most difficult decision to let him go and not extend his suffering for just a few more hours.
Honestly, I really can’t continue writing about Nefarian’s passing. It took months for me to be able to write this much without bawling. Just know that we will always love Nefarian, and there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about him.
So, I’m trying to get back into the whole blogging thing. Years ago, way to many years ago, I would blog several days a week. That was close to 20 years ago. And I enjoyed it. But as I got older and the years ticked by, the desire to blog started to diminish. And it became something that I would think about doing every few months but wouldn’t take the time to actually do it. This past year has brought that desire back tenfold so I thought “why not jump in with both feet and just start blogging again.”
So here I am.
Will anyone read this? Probably not, and that is okay. I didn’t blog for people to read, that’s why I never had a lot of followers. I blogged for me. Because I enjoyed it.
When I first started at my past job years ago, I thought for sure I would be working there until retirement. I absolutely loved it. It wasn’t until the pandemic hit that things started to change. I won’t get into it, but I will say that how us “essential employees” were treated by both the customers and the company was not something I could continue to deal with. It took a huge toll on my mental and physical health. Add on that I was unable to take time off (even though I had an abundance of vacation and PTO because I hardly ever called off) and you had a recipe for complete and total burnout. So I decided to give up on the job I once loved so much.
It was beyond scary to take that leap. Despite the negative effects it had on my health, I was paid extremely well, and (not to toot my own horn) I was good at my job. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.
What we decided to do instead was take the plunge and work on our business full time. It was a scary decision that some days I regretted due to not having the stability that my other job provided. And it took several months to “mellow out” (my past job had me stressed out 24/7).
Even though I work way more hours now with our own business (some days it feels non stop with caring for the bees, making product, finding venues to set up at, research, generate social media content, and so much more), I have been able to spend more time with my family and feel just so much better mentally.
It has been full of ups and some downs, trails and errors (plenty of errors), doubts and confidence, excitement and fears.
Another year in the books, and boy was this one a doozy. Nothing inherently bad happened to us, thank the good Lord. But 2020 has been odd, to say the least.
The year start off normally. We went to a few beekeeper conventions in January and March, and then COVID-19 hit. That put a halt in everyone’s plans.
But I’m not gonna focus on anything negative that happened this past year, and instead list the positive aspects of 2020.
We were able to make some improvements to our home (new garage doors and new kitchen flooring). We also added a bunch of fruit trees (peaches, cherries, and plums), as well as several blueberry, blackberry, and raspberry bushes, to our property.
Mike was able to grow his apiary. He has also started to create products with his beeswax (such as lip balms, salves, and soaps). His business is really taking off! He started selling his honey to a local coffee house/restaurant, and now has a booth with his honey and bee related products available for purchase at a store in our town.
Here’s to hoping that 2021 treats everyone well!
Featured Image by Luke Hodde @gamevogue thanks for making this photo available freely on Unsplash.
I know I say this every year but WOW! 2019 flew by! And it’s hard to believe that 2020 is almost here.
For me, 2019 was mostly filled with positivity. My husband grew his bee yard adding more hives, I reached the one year milestone at my job (and even moved to a new department), our honey labels were approved by the state so we could legally sale our raw honey, and our daughter spread her wings even further and moved to Florida to give that a go. We have even been going to church whenever our work schedules allow it.
But 2019 wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It marked the one year anniversary of Jedi’s passing. And, most recently, a close family member was tragically taken from us this past November. We are still trying to make sense of that and will probably never fully understand it.
My hope is that 2020 is good to all of us. Because we all need a nice calm year to start this new decade.
For the past several years, I have causally brought up the idea of having chickens, but I was the only one who thought it was a good idea. And while I could have gotten chickens anyway, I wanted the rest of the household, i.e. my husband, to get on board with the idea. And I am happy to say that he has finally started to warm up to the idea.
With that said, however, we’re not getting chickens just yet. I want to wait until next spring to give us time to research more and learn as much about them as possible. So we’re just in the planing stages at the moment. My husband is excited about creating the chicken coop, and making cool chicken gadgets, and I can’t wait to raise feathered dinosaurs. But we want to make sure that our future chickens will have an awesome coop and run that will keep them healthy, happy, and protected from predators.
So, what does this exactly mean?
Welp, it means I’ve been, and plan on continuing to, pin a shit ton of chicken-related things on Pinterest and trying to learn as much as I possibly can. But I am so excited!
Instead of New Years resolutions, I’m making goals. Why goals and not resolutions? Well, almost every year I make a bunch of resolutions, which I stick to for a few weeks, and then abandon before Spring hits. Resolutions seem more of a “I will definitely get this accomplished this year”, while goals have a more relaxed and laid back type of vibe. And I like that.
Anyway……
The goals I have set for 2019 are obtainable ones that I’m pretty confident I can achieve this year. In the past, when I would make New Year’s resolutions, it would be something that was much more difficult to accomplish. While things like ‘lose 50 pounds’ is possible in a years time, it takes a great deal of dedication that I just don’t know if I can complete. So that’s why I have decided to set real, obtainable goals for this new year.
Improve my Sewing Skills
Towards the end of 2018, I finally got our sewing machine out and made myself learn how to properly use it. And with the help of some Youtube videos, I was able to make my first ever not-sewn-by-hand catnip kicker. I have also made a couple of plastic bag holders — which surprisingly turned out okay — and want to continue to improve on that ability. I would like to the point where I can sew a skirt, dress, or pajama pants with ease. I’m not sure if I can accomplish that in 2019, so I’m just setting out to improve my sewing skills no matter how little that improvement may be.
Get Out of the House More
And I don’t just mean to the grocery store. While I don’t want to set a larger goal of “traveling abroad”, I do want to go out and do more things, even if it’s just in the town next to me. I spend way too much time in the house. I work from home and relax at home, and while I do love being home (that’s where my kitties are after all) I also want to get out and explore, and do things that require leaving my house.
Ignite my Lost Passion for Photography
It wasn’t that long ago that I had a Nikon D90 and I would plan trips to local areas to snap some pictures. I loved photography, and was rather decent at it. And then, at the start of 2013, I had to get rid of my camera, and I just never got another one. But this past April my husband bought me a camera for my birthday. I was so happy to finally get a DSLR again, and then I just didn’t use it. I’m laying some of the blame on my phone because it’s just so much easier to grab the phone — which is almost always within reach — and snap some pictures then it is to get up, walk to where I keep my camera, take it out of it’s case, turn it on, get it set, blah, blah, blah. It feels like a chore. And this saddens me so because, at one point in my life, my camera and the act of shooting photos brought me so much joy. It gave me a reason to go outside, and it allowed the creative side of me come to out. I miss it and want to get that passion, or at least a small portion of that passion, back.
That’s it. Three goals. Three not-too-complicated goals that I have set for myself during this new.
What about you? Did you set goals or resolutions for the new year?
For years Mike had toyed with the idea of raising bees, but for one reason or another, he would always put it on the back burner. At the moment, however, we’re in the position where he can dive head first into this venture. In February, he preordered 2 sets of Nucs from a somewhat local beekeeper and started the month long process of beekeeping classes. He was originally suppose to receive the Nucs in May but, because of the abundance of rainy days, it ended up delaying the growth of the hives, which meant waiting until June.
It’s been a few months since he started this venture and things seems to be going well. So well, in fact, that we’re planning on adding a few more hives in the spring. I’m learning so much about bees (like did you know that honey is essentially bee vomit!), and what is required to properly care for them. I’m also learning just how much of a negative impact we humans have on them.
Why Are Bees Important?
Bees are amazing creatures that pollinate over 80-percent of all flowering plants. This includes 70 of the top 100 food crops consumed by humans. According to a wide array of experts, one in three bites of food we consume is derived from plants pollinated by bees (as well as other pollinators). That fact alone should be enough to convince even the most stern bee-hater just how important these buzzing insects are. Without bees, thousands of plants wouldn’t be pollinated, which would have a direct and extremely negative effect on our lives and the life of our planet.
Furthermore, most honey bees aren’t aggressive unless they feel their hive is in danger. I wear nothing more then my normal clothes and flip-flops when visiting the hives, and I have yet to get stung. And I’m right up there inside the hives with Mike, snapping pictures and recording videos.
How Can I Help the Bees?
You don’t have to be a beekeeper to help bees, though having a backyard hive is a great way to improve your garden while obtaining a bit of honey and beeswax. You can also just let your grass grow a bit more between mowings, and try not to hate dandelions so much.
I honestly never understood why dandelions, which is technically an herb not a weed, have such a bad rap. They brighten up a green landscape with their cheery little yellow faces. And they are one of the earliest food sources for bees. If you let them grow some before declaring all out war on them, you’ll provide bees with food to help make them and their hives strong. You’ll also reduce the amount of time spent mowing your yard so it’s a win-win situation!
Another option is to forgo chemical pesticides that cause more harm than good, and instead try a safer route that is more bee-friendly. For example, a mixture of salt and vinegar is a less harmful weed killer that still gets rid of unwanted grass and plants without the potential of harming beneficial insects.
Seek the Help of a Beekeeper
If you do happen to find a hive somewhere on your property or house, don’t destroy it and don’t call a pest control company. Instead, reach out to your local beekeeper. They have the knowledge and tools to safely remove the hive and transport it to a local apiary where the hive can flourish away from people’s homes. What’s even better is that local beekeepers won’t charge you a cent for removing the hive!