I still haven’t step on the scale. It has been 2 weeks and I’m a bit scared to see what I actually weigh after not monitoring it for the entire amount of time. This is the longest I have gone without checking my weight. I think I’m going to wait another week and check it on Monday August 25. I so wish I didn’t have these weight/food issues. I would love to be able to eat whatever I want without gaining any weight or even feeling guilty about it.
When I was at my lowest weight (148 pounds) a few years ago, I didn’t enjoy it. I just kept thinking about how fat I was, how disgusting I looked. Now, I would give my left nut to be that weight. I would enjoy it. I would buy and wear those cute clothes that I refuse to wear now because I look like shit in them. I would flaunt around a bit (not much) and be happy with my body. Instead of feeling like I’m not good enough.
Le Sigh.
Maybe one day I can finally get back down to that weight. I am trying. I truly am. But it doesn’t seem like enough.