Month: January 2010

I signed up for an account with formspring.me so go and ask me anything. No matter what it is. You can keep it anonymous if you like.

http://formspring.me/TokyoMeow

It’s hard to believe that two years ago I actually thought the picture below was decent of me. It’s also hard for me to grasp the concept that I was once that size. I was not a big child. In fact, I was rather small. That is until I hit the fifth grade, then I started packing on the pounds. My heaviest was in 2007 when I weighed in at 220 pounds. I was not happy with myself not one little bit. I was mad at everyone and everything and really didn’t know why. I hide my hatred for myself pretty well. I said I was fine with the size I was, even though it was not true.

It wasn’t until the end of 2006 that “really bad things” started to happen in my life. Because of stress, I lost 20 pounds. But I still weighed in at 200 pounds. The “really bad things” continued on and in the spring/summer of 2008 I dropped more weight. I choose to take the stairs at work to help with the weight lose and that work pretty well for me. That, added on with the continue stress, helped me drop more weight.

Now after two years I am down to 153 pounds. I am not at the weight I want to be. Since I am short (5’3″), 153 pounds look heavier on me then someone who is taller. I am wanting to get to at least 130 pounds, though I would like it much better if it would be 110 but I am being realistic. The thing that scares me the most is the thought of gaining that weight back. Oh well. I’ll just have to try my damndest not to let that happen.

Growing up, my mom and dad would tell me how special I was. How I was one in a million. Fact of the matter is, there is not one speck of truth in that. Just take a quick search online and read the “about me” section on some personal blogs. I am a dime a dozen. The blogging community is filled with gamer mothers just like me, who love horror movies too much and have a soft spot for most things Japanese. I am not unique, far from it. I am just like everyone else. And that makes me sad. Don’t get me wrong. I never really thought that I was one in a million or that I could not be replaced. But there is some happiness, some feeling of giddy pride to be thought of as irreplaceable. And when you finally come to the realization that your parents completely lied about that, that I could be easily replaced by the many that are just like me. Well, it kinda sucks.

Ya know, I seriously considered jumping on the bandwagon and doing a recap of 2009 with a year in pictures but 2009 (just like 2008 and 2007) was not that good of a year for me and the few highlights I had during ’09 are not worth drudging up all the other crap. So I think I will just let 2009 slip away into the past without another thought. Hopefully 2010 will be a hell of a lot better then the past three years.

And I think, for the first time, I will be doing a video blog in the next few days.